In a heartbeat (Heartbeat #1) Read online

  *

  “What the fuck happened just now? Why did my sister leave?” Max was pissed off. He was sick of his sister’s and his best friend’s weird dynamics. They were either all over each other or at each other’s throats.

  “I messed up. Again.” Max looked at Beppe expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. “Today, before the game, she told me that the prick she works for, and obviously has the hots for even though he treats her and all his staff like shit, kissed her last night. And now she’s confused about what to do next.”

  “I can imagine what you said to her,” Max folded his arms in front of his chest.

  “What was I supposed to say? Francesco Naldo is a rich asshole who manipulates everyone around him. If he wants something he takes it and doesn’t care about the consequences. Right now he has his eyes set on your sister, man. How long do you think it’ll be before he discards her like all his sluts?”

  “Did you just call my sister a slut?”

  “No, and that’s exactly the problem. She’s not a slut. She genuinely admires the guy. But I doubt he wants anything more from her than to get her into bed.”

  “Why didn’t she tell me any of this?” Max asked, feeling left out.

  Gia and he used to be very close before his dad died, but after that they just drifted apart. It wasn’t as if they didn’t trust or count on each other. It was just that they weren’t as comfortable with one another as they used to be. They didn’t talk about personal stuff anymore, mainly because each had been afraid to find out how the other really felt after their father’s death. Afterwards, it became a habit to avoid talking about things that were too personal. Beppe had been Gia’s friend since they were kids and Max had always known that they shared a lot, but it still hurt to find out about this from Beppe and not from Gia herself.

  “You know why.” Beppe dragged from his cigarette and inhaled.

  “So, I still don’t get it. Why did she leave?” Max was still confused, because what Beppe had just told him didn’t explain Gia’s sudden departure or his friend’s choice of song. Beppe exhaled the smoke he’d been holding and, casting his eyes away from Max, said,

  “I told her he just wanted to fuck her. She got mad. I told her he’s not good enough for her. She said he’s an accomplished businessman and chef, with three restaurants and two Michelin stars. I said he still wasn’t good enough for her. And then she asked if I thought I was good enough for her.”

  Max had always known that Beppe had feelings for Gia, but he never thought he’d act on them. His sister needed a man with his feet firmly on the ground – a man who knew who he was and who would appreciate her for who she was. Beppe couldn’t give her that and he knew it. That was why he just teased her, never seriously acting on his feelings.

  “What did you say?”

  “No. I’m not good enough for her, Max. I know it, she knows it, you know it, everyone fucking knows it. And now she’ll probably jump into bed with that asshole. And that’s why I sang that song.” Beppe threw the remainder of his cigarette on the ground and walked away from the bar.

  Shaking his head, Max walked back in to find Lisa and Stella dancing with two guys he didn’t know. He couldn’t leave them alone for one fucking minute before the vultures descended! Thank God it wasn’t a slow song and the guys had the decency to keep their distance. If he had seen Stella dancing close to someone else, like the other night with Rico, he’d go mental.

  What was wrong with him? Lately – since she’d arrived, to be exact – he couldn’t recognise himself. Extreme changes of mood, overwhelming jealousy, a burning desire for her ... He’d never felt like this before. He hadn’t been so all over the place even when his dad died. It was a downwards fall back then: no extreme emotions, just one big, black hole inside which grew until it consumed him.

  Now, he was completely lost. He needed her and that confused and scared him.

  He didn’t know what to do.

  *

  Stella went back to their table to have a drink while Lisa went to the toilet. Max was sulking in his chair and she wasn’t sure if it was because she had danced with that guy or because of what had happened with Beppe outside. It must have been bad, because he hadn’t returned with Max, who was fiddling with his phone as she spoke.

  “Hey. Is everything OK?” He looked at her with a confused expression, as if he wasn’t sure if she’d spoken or not.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just got a text from Gia. She wants us to go to our house after the match tomorrow. She’s cooking. You wanna come?”

  “I wouldn’t miss one of Gia’s famous meals,” she said and smiled, hoping to ease some of Max’s tension. He smiled back, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Max?”

  “I’m fine, Stella. Really. I’m just tired.” He looked at Lisa, who was coming towards them. “Do you guys want to go?” They both nodded, and leaving money on the table for the drinks, they left the bar.

  When they got to Lisa’s house it was late, but the light in the living room was still on. Niki wasn’t asleep yet. They stopped in front of the front door, arranging when and where to meet tomorrow, when she opened the door.

  “Hi, guys. I knew I heard voices,” she beamed at them. “Max, honey, I haven’t seen you in ages!” She went to him and kissed him on the cheeks.

  “Hey, Niki, how are you?”

  “I’m good. I spoke with your mum tonight; she called to invite me to your house tomorrow. Apparently Gia’s cooking?”

  “Yeah, she is. Mum would love to see you.”

  “Me, too. I haven’t seen Elsa in a while. Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to it. See you tomorrow, Max,” she said and went inside.

  Lisa followed her inside, saying goodbye to Max and leaving the door open for Stella.

  “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Stella, feeling a bit awkward just standing there with Max.

  “Yeah. Goodnight, Stella.” He leaned in and kissed her cheeks. He didn’t linger or prolong his touch. They were two perfectly brief and emotionless pecks.

  As he walked back towards his car, Stella felt an overwhelming urge to make him smile. She wanted to take a bit of the weight he was carrying, even though she didn't know what it was.

  “Hey, Max!” she called after him.

  He turned to face her, walking backwards.

  “Yeah?”

  Stella broke into a huge grin. It was enough to make him smile, too.

  “Score a goal for me tomorrow?”

  “You’ve got it.” His smile spread into a full-blown grin, the one Stella loved so much.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It was just Lisa and Stella cheering Max from the stand. Beppe hadn’t shown up and neither had Gia. She was probably busy cooking for them, but Beppe’s no-show was a mystery. According to Lisa, he always came Max played.

  Max was really good. He played smoothly and intelligently, assessing every situation carefully and always being at the right place at the right time. He wasn’t a show-off, as Stella had anticipated. He passed the ball around, quite happily engaging the whole team in the match. He seemed to be everywhere the whole time – how he did that was beyond Stella.

  He did score a goal near the end of the first half. Stella stood up and cheered, knowing that this goal was for her. Max ran her way towards the end of the pitch, smiling, and pointing at her as if to say ‘That’s for you’, and winked. Stella blew him a kiss and couldn’t stop grinning. Why that goal was so important to her, she had no idea. But it was and it made them both happy.

  When the celebrations had died down and the game had resumed, Stella sat back down and beamed at Lisa. She wasn’t smiling back, though. At that moment Stella knew Lisa was going to say something she wouldn’t like.

  “Stella, we need to talk.”

  “Here? Can’t it wait?”

  “No. We’re going to Gia’s afterwards; there’ll be a lot of people and I don’t know where we’re going to end up tonight, and I really need to say this. Even though i
t might make you hate me.”

  There it was. That look Lisa saved for when she delivered bad news. Stella braced herself and nodded.

  “You know I love you, right? I care for you and want you to be happy more than anything. But I also love Max and I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”

  “Lis, we’re not ...”

  “Please, just hear me out,” Lisa interrupted her, placing a gentle hand on Stella’s arm. “I know Max well. I can see how he feels about you. I also know you and I can see you feel something for him, too. In different circumstances, it would make me extremely happy to see you two together, because I can feel you’d be good together. But now ...” She trailed off, measuring her words, trying not to hurt Stella.

  “Now I have cancer,” Stella said, never meaning to sound bitter, but that was how it came out. Lisa nodded in agreement.

  “And you also live in another country. Max, he ... let’s just say that he won’t be able to handle the fact that you’re ill.”

  “I’m not going to tell him. I don’t want anybody’s pity.”

  “I know. But if you give in to your attraction to him and his flirting, in a few weeks when you leave, both of you will be heartbroken.”

  “I know that, Lis. That’s why I’ve told him, repeatedly, that we can be friends and friends only. I told him I didn’t want to put you in the middle if something happened between us and he seemed to agree, but then he ... He’s just not giving up. And I don’t know what to do.”

  Stella purposely didn’t mention their kiss. Lisa would flip out if she told her and she didn’t want to deal with it right now.

  “Try and keep it innocent. Friendly. Maybe he’ll get the message. You could also try going on a date. With someone else.” Stella looked at her cousin, surprised, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You came here to relax and have fun, remember? Do it. Be friends with Max, but go and find yourself another guy. Go on a few dates. Maybe he’ll get the hint and maybe you’ll be able to push him out of your head.”

  “Speaking of dates, Rico cornered me at the stadium yesterday and asked me out.”

  “Really? That’s great. He’s a good guy. Go out with him.”

  Stella knew Lisa was right, about everything. Yet she couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt. It was completely irrational and she had no right to feel that way, because Lisa was just looking out for her friends – for both her and Max. It hurt, hearing someone else say exactly what she’d been thinking and agonising over those last few days.

  It made it real. It wasn’t just in her head anymore.

  She tried to hide her true feelings as best as she could, talking and laughing with Lisa for the rest of the match. Max scored another goal and his team won 2–0. When it was over, they went down to the pitch to congratulate him. Lisa gave him a hug and Stella followed suit. It was fine to do what his other friend was doing, right?

  However, Max held her in his arms a few moments longer.

  “Great goals. I asked for one, you show-off,” she teased him and he laughed.

  “I’ll always give you more than you ask for,” he whispered in her ear as he released her from the hug. His eyes were shining with the adrenalin from the game and with something else she couldn’t place. At that moment, Max was the sexiest man on this Earth and the only one Stella wanted in her life.

  Oh, God. I’m screwed.

  *

  Max had woken up with a start. That morning he’d had the weirdest dream ever, and had literally sat up in the bed when he woke up.

  He had been dreaming of Stella. Last night, when she had called after him to ask him to score a goal for her, he’d known she’d done it to make him smile. It had felt good to have someone who wanted to make him smile, just for the sake of it.

  He couldn’t get her out of his head after that. He had fallen asleep thinking of her, and had dreamed about being with her without any obstacles. But then, out of nowhere, they were at a railway station and Stella was leaving. She had turned away from him, climbed into the train and waved goodbye. Max had been frozen on the spot, unable to move, unable to shout her name. Inside he was fighting, screaming, trying to claw himself out of this state; outside he was immobile.

  And that’s when he’d woken up.

  The feeling of losing her had been with him for the next few hours, until he’d seen her at the match.

  Max never wanted to feel that way again. He wasn’t letting her go and he’d burn anything and anyone who stood in his way.

  *

  They arrived back at Max’s house in high spirits. Max was still pumped up from the win and his good mood was rubbing off on Stella and Lisa. Niki was already inside, chatting with Max’s mother.

  “There they are,” said Max’s mum, and got up from the sofa. She was a petite woman who was the exact image of Gia, only a few years older. Her hair was long and dark just like her daughter’s; her eyes were the same warm hazel colour as both her children’s, but didn’t sparkle quite as brightly as theirs. They looked older, somehow sadder.

  That’s what happens when you lose the love of your life.

  “Max, honey, did you score any goals?” She came over to her son and gave him a hug. He had to bend down almost in half to meet his mum’s body. Stella couldn’t believe such a small woman could give birth to such a huge man as Max.

  “Yeah. Two,” he said with a crooked smile.

  “That’s my boy.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and moved to hug Lisa.

  “And you’re Stella. So glad to finally meet you.” She hugged her in turn and kissed her cheeks. “Come on, everyone out. Table is almost set. Gia’s outside.”

  She shooed them out of the French windows into a garden that was bigger than Lisa’s. It also had a pool and a patio area with a big table, lots of chairs and a built-in barbecue. Gia was fussing around the table, placing plates and napkins. When she saw the others, she immediately assigned tasks to them all, and half an hour later they were all sitting at the table, enjoying the great food Gia had cooked and each other’s company.

  It became evident that Beppe was not coming. Nobody asked where he was or if he was going to be late; they just tucked in to their food.

  “Is Beppe OK?” Stella asked Max, her voice low so that only he could hear her.

  “I don’t know,” Max answered honestly, concern shadowing his eyes.

  Stella didn’t know what to say or do. She didn’t know what this was all about, but still wanted to ease Max’s worries. The urge to touch him and reassure him that everything was going to be fine was so strong that, on an impulse, she put her hand on his thigh under the table. Silently, without even looking at her, he placed his own hand over hers and entwined their fingers.

  They stayed like that for the rest of the meal, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

  During dessert, Max’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out. It was a text and his brows furrowed at first, but then he smiled. Turning to Stella, he said,

  “Beppe’s fine. I guess. Look, he sent me a couple of photos of us from last night.” He gave her the phone to look at the pictures.

  They were lovely – one was from the match, and they were hugging, celebrating one of the goals. The other was from the karaoke bar; they were dancing close to one another, and Stella had her head tilted back to look at Max’s face, who was talking. She was smiling and looked so blissfully happy.

  Is that how I always look when I’m around him?

  “I didn’t know he was taking photos of us. That’s kind of creepy,” she said, smiling. What was she supposed to say? I love how good we look? How at ease with each other we seem?

  “Yeah, he’s always had some stalker tendencies,” Max replied, and matched her smile. “You can’t deny he’s got talent, though.”

  “Can you send them to me?”

  “So now you want the creepy pictures?”

  “I didn’t say they were creepy. I said he was creepy for taking them without us
realising,” Stella specified and Max laughed, while pressing some buttons. Stella’s phone buzzed. “Thanks,” she said as she took it out.

  “What are you guys laughing about?” Lisa asked, noticing the exchange between Max and Stella.

  “Beppe sent me some photos from last night. I was showing them to Stella.”

  Stella instinctively glanced in Gia’s direction, wanting to see her reaction to Beppe’s name. Gia noticeably flinched but, playing completely disinterested, sipped her wine.

  “Let me see,” Lisa said, extending her hand for Max’s phone.

  His phone passed through everyone’s hands and they all loved the pictures. Elsa, Max’s mother, gushed about how handsome he was, then shared a couple of childhood stories that made everyone laugh while Max slumped in his chair uncomfortably. She went on to relate some of Gia’s childhood antics, and this time Max laughed while his sister squirmed in her seat.

  Sooner than Stella would have liked, dinner was over. Lisa said she had some work to do in her studio and wanted to head home, but Niki was deep in conversation with Elsa and wanted to stay a little longer.

  “How about you, Stella? You wanna go?” her cousin asked, picking up her bag and heading for the door. Stella hesitated. If she went home with Lisa now, she’d have to spend the rest of the evening alone, because her cousin would be locked in her studio. It was still just 7 p.m. and she’d much rather spend some more time here.

  “I think I’m gonna stay and wait for Aunt Niki, if you have to work.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that, but I really need to finish this painting for tomorrow. I’ve been putting it off for a while and I need to show it in class tomorrow.”

  “Sure. Don’t worry – I’m fine here. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” She walked Lisa to the door and hugged her goodbye.

  She went back outside and helped Gia and Max clear the table. Niki and Elsa had moved, along with their wine glasses, to the loungers along the pool, and seemed to be having a great time catching up.